I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
