11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
