Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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