well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So vagazzling was a success
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
