To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
