the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
