For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
