So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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