Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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