The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's rum buckets o'clock
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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