I just threw up on my dentist
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
