Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
