You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
