Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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