Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
