I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
