i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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