So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
