She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ok first of all what the fuck
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
