I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
handjob tips. give me some.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
