are you so shy because you have an std?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
