Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
