It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
