Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
