I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
try to milk me bitch
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