Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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