How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
