The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I smell like Dick and happiness
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