the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
