we're blogging at a bar
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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