I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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