it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
