Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
