Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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