you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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