I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
