butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
