it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
