"it" just moved
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
