Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
