Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she peed on how many people?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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