It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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