yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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