In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
