i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
