ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
