but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
