STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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