i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
