this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
