I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
