i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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