Where is the hickey?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
