Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she peed on how many people?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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